capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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