Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
