I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
