it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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