Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
