guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize