once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
