tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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