she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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