you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
