It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
