I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
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