I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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