dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
