i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
