Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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