and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
