I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
