I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
