so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
