everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
we're so committed to being not committed
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
