so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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