I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
