It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
