I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
