Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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