Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
