i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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