this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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