Walk of Shame. In a state park.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
