I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
