You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
