Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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