two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
