I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
