HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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