so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
