I can text with my tongue
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
