Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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