I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
