Me too!
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
