chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
