Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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