A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
