It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
