I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I believe in your delicious
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i out mim tonsoeep
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
