Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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