The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
