i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
