It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
