if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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