What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
