I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
